White Velvet

Dear Newbie,

How exciting you are taking a step forward into a brave new world!  It is absolutely okay to attend without playing, and you are ahead of the game in that you already know consent is key, even with voyeurism.  Having said that, if people are playing out in the open, they probably know people are watching.

Before you get to the part where you are watching, however, be sure to familiarize yourself with the rules of the event.  Introduce yourself to the hosts or volunteers and let them know this is your first time at such an event.  Find out if there is a designated area for watching and/or socializing.  Talk to other attendees who are socializing; many folks are happy to answer questions and/or give you the lay of the land.

If there is not a division between the play and socializing areas and you are ready to check out the play, be sure to stay far enough back that you do not inadvertently insert yourself into a scene (the term used for a bdsm play session).  You may find you have questions; do not ask the players or chat loudly with someone nearby, as that could interrupt their headspace. Additionally, you may see some things you find disturbing or scary; do not interrupt the scene.  Instead, go see if you can find a cookie and turn your attention elsewhere.  If you have concerns that something unsafe is happening, find a dungeon monitor or host and alert them.  If a scene needs to be stopped, they are the ones to make that decision.

Please keep in mind that the atmosphere could be titillating, and you may find yourself slipping in your resolve not to play.  If that happens, remember that negotiating with those intoxicating endorphins bathing your brain could lower your inhibitions and lead you to make unwise decisions.  Keep your promise to yourself and postpone play for another event.

~Miss Velvet Steele