Feeling Safe
Why do I feel safest when I am dominated?
This can be a complicated question for many, the answer to which can be found in when you seek out that comfort. Do you seek it out when you feel threatened? Those who feel powerless in their world sometimes seek out someone they see as strong and powerful, someone to take them under their wing and protect them fiercely, even from themselves. Do you feel at loose ends when you lack structure or outside validation? Maybe you need the external structure and feedback offered by some dominants in order to feel they are successfully navigating the world around them. Do you find decision-making to be overwhelming or paralyzing? There are those for whom being dominated feels safe because they are confident there is someone looking out for their best interest who will guide them wisely. Perhaps you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and are looking for a haven in which to set it down? For people whose daily lives demand a great deal of responsibility and drive, allowing another to be in charge can give them respite from a fear of potentially disastrous missteps as they settle into the safety of being cared for. Do you find yourself seeking domination when you are anxious? Being physically dominated can bathe the brain in chemicals - adrenaline, epinephrine, enkephalins, and endorphins - to bring on a sense of peace, which serves as a release and relief for someone who is anxiety-ridden. Give some thought to when you seek out submission, what feelings you experience when you are being dominated, and how that affects your feelings of safety in the world. There you will find your answer.