Control

I can't give up my control, it feels like ANYTHING could go wrong and I couldn't stop it.

You've done your homework, you've vetted your person, you've negotiated in good faith, and you've established your boundaries and safewords. So...what’s the worst that could happen? Seriously. Focus on what your fear really is and challenge its validity. What are you afraid of? If that fear comes true, will it really be so bad? We rely on control to feel security in the world and to feel as if we are managing potential outcomes of every situation. We fear what could happen if we don’t control things, and we expend our energy imagining potential difficulties and strategizing how to avoid them. Our minds are filled with an unrelenting cacophony of worries and what-ifs and back up plans for our back up plans. Here’s a what-if for you - what if, just for a few minutes, you could surrender that iron fist of control to another? What if you trusted them to have your best interest at heart and to be competent enough to address any unforeseen outcoImes? Imagine the space left by the quieting cacophony. Imagine the relief left by the loosening of your grip. Letting go can be terrifying, but it can also be freeing. It can free your energy for other undertakings, free your creativity for better solutions, and free your mind from torturous what-ifs. Allowing another to lead allows you to lean into the experience and be fully present in the moment, offering an opportunity to fully savor it. Allowing another to lead gives them the gift of your trust; and in your surrender, they can lead you to an inner peace and vacation from your iron fist.