Dear Miss Velvet, I have told my boyfriend I am interested in BDSM and that I would like for him to do things to me in the bedroom and treat me like a whore.  He says he loves me too much to be able to hurt me or treat me as anything other than a […]

Dear Miss Velvet, Do you have a moment to help me unravel some poly drama?  I currently have a primary and secondary partner.  There’s no drama there thankfully.   However, recent circumstances have  connected me with someone who I might be interested in.  Thankfully my primary partner has been encouraging of me pursuing this person.  […]

Dear Miss Velvet, My wife and I have been together for 4 years, and in the past 8 months or so, we have been exploring kink together.  I am really unsure of where my kinks lie, but it is quite clear that she loves pain.  I have been slowly working up to finding her pain […]

Dear Miss Velvet, With covid still a concern, I am hesitant to go to live lifestyle events.  What is the best way to stay connected to the community?  I miss it so much! Sincerely, Disconnected by Covid Dear Disconnected, If you can find some small gatherings where you are comfortable wearing a mask and washing […]

Dear Miss Velvet, I’ve been interested in BDSM for years but have little real life experience.  After ending a long-term relationship that included mostly mainstream kink activities like hair-pulling, ass-slapping, pet names, that sort of thing, I find myself wanting to explore different types of pain and implements, levels of pain, day to day D/s […]

Dear Miss Velvet, I have two submissives in negotiated dynamics with whom I spend most of my time.  They call me Lord.  I also enjoy more casual play, and I have a few play partners who bottom for me from time to time.  We all spend time together occasionally, and a couple of my bottoms […]

Dear Miss Velvet, Whenever I find myself around kinky people of all ilk, I have noticed that I hear a lot of talk about ideals like acting with integrity and being humble.  However, when I watch what people do instead of believing what they say, I see them gossiping about other people in the community.  […]

Dear Miss Velvet, Like lots of kinky folks I love to go play parties.  Sometimes I have a scene and partner in mind, but sometimes I show up just looking to see what develops.  Most of the time, that leads to a pleasant evening of flirting, talking with acquaintances, and meeting new folks for next […]

Dear Miss Velvet, Do you have a moment to help me unravel some poly drama?  I currently have a primary and secondary partner.  There’s no drama there thankfully.   However, recent circumstances have  connected me with someone who I might be interested in.  Thankfully my primary partner has been encouraging of me pursuing this person.  […]

Dear Miss Velvet, I am a cisgender dominant woman in a year-long power exchange relationship with a very willing, joyful slave whom I adore.  Our values are well-matched, as are our kink interests, but I am running into a bit of a problem.  About 6 months ago, I introduced a strap-on into our play.  It […]