Column

Dear Miss Velvet, I’m new to BDSM; recently I’ve found a Dom who is about twice my age (I’m 19).  So far, we’ve played with light bondage, choking, and rough sex.  He’s been patient with me, but I don’t think he can read my reactions THAT well to know when I’m uncomfortable. It all depends […]

Dear Miss Velvet, My wife (F43) and I (M45) had our first experience with an agreed dom/sub dynamic last night. After 18 years together, I have accepted that she does not want to talk after sex; however, I am finding I want some aftercare in the form of talking about how much I enjoyed it,

Dear Miss Velvet, My significant other/submissive and I are into aggressive kinks – think heavy restraints, impact, etc.  Recently, she has told me she has a praise kink, which feels like a softer, more loving, and appreciative approach to my dominance. It appears to be something she is really into, so I want to learn

Dear Miss Velvet, I am a 26F sub, new to the BDSM community.  My daddy dom often gives me tasks related to public exposure for punishment and general sub tasks, even though I have a very, very low tolerance for public demonstrations.  Even going out without a bra or wearing a very short skirt are

Dear Miss Velvet, I am an inexperienced domme vetting my first sub online.  Despite some insecurity issues on their part, I really like their personality and the stuff they are interested in.  Our communication is really good so far.  We both want long term exclusive partners, which is good, but it would be long distance

Dear Miss Velvet, I work in a high-pressure environment where I am required to be decisive and attentive to ongoing project management.  In my private life, I identify as a Domme-leaning switch;  I love being the Dominant and telling my partner what to do.  It is an important part of our dynamic as well as

Dear Miss Velvet, I’m still pretty new to the kink community and I am not sure how to let people know I’m not interested. I don’t really care about someone’s size or weight. When I’m picking partners I’m more interested in their vibe and their interests, but I am just not interested in people who

Dear Miss Velvet, I find myself in a conundrum and hope that you can offer some insight.   My partner and I identify as polyamorous. My partner has another partner which I am aware of.  I was supportive of their relationship and even encouraged my partner to pursue it even though she had some doubts

Dear Miss Velvet, My Dom and I have been in a romantic relationship for quite some time, but we’re also VERY kinky and experienced. However the romantic/main part of our relationship is just monogamous. But, recently I’ve discovered that the fantasy of him doing someone else is turning me on. Me tied up, maybe edged,

Dear Miss Velvet, Are doms allowed to use safe words?  I am the Dom in my relationship. The other day my partner and I were playing, and she started to get really bratty and do things that she knows I don’t like and am not comfortable with. I was taken aback, as that is not