Dear Miss Velvet, I love attending classes. I like to learn and I love learning more about myself and my role(s) in BDSM. I have been in a dynamic for about a month now, and everything has been great except for one confusing aspect. My Sir/Master/Papa Bear says he wants me to take classes and […]
Dear Miss Velvet, I’m having a poly, jealousy, D/s issue I need some help with. I have a friend from the swinging world with whom I hang out from time to time; he is also familiar with some of the protocols particular to the BDSM world. On a couple of occasions, I have taken each
Terms and Conditions Read More »
Dear Miss Velvet, I like to play hard. When things feel out of my control, I like to choose to give up control. Recently, I had to end a relationship, which caused me a lot of emotional pain. Since then, in a scene with my longtime boyfriend, I found I wanted more physical pain than
A Question of Pain Read More »
Dear Miss Velvet, I am a relatively new Master with a slave of two years. I have always guided them with a loose rein, as I feel they are a capable person with good judgment. In the last few months, they have begun a relationship with a person who is high-spirited, attractive, reactive, and who
The Importance of Discernment Read More »
Head Space Do you recognize when you’re in a headspace? Is there really Top/sub-space? What is “Drop?” Headspace is unique and personal as a person’s laugh; we each experience it differently. Subspace might feel like being spellbound by sensations to one person, floating on waves of ecstasy for another, falling into a trancelike state for
Feeling Safe Why do I feel safest when I am dominated? This can be a complicated question for many, the answer to which can be found in when you seek out that comfort. Do you seek it out when you feel threatened? Those who feel powerless in their world sometimes seek out someone they see
Control I can’t give up my control, it feels like ANYTHING could go wrong and I couldn’t stop it. You’ve done your homework, you’ve vetted your person, you’ve negotiated in good faith, and you’ve established your boundaries and safewords. So…what’s the worst that could happen? Seriously. Focus on what your fear really is and challenge
Bondage Why do people like to be tied up and bound? Bondage is a very personal thing, but many people who enjoy being bound report some common themes. Some find great comfort in the pressure of the restraints, almost as if they were a comfortable hug or a tightly wrapped blanket. For those who enjoy
Dear Miss Velvet, I recently started a new power exchange relationship with my Ma’am. Our connection is very deep and I feel lucky to belong to her. Though we are both involved in our community, I have more experience from previous power exchange relationships than she does (though this is my first time being on
Learning to Follow Read More »
Some friends did a demo for Primal Night at a local dungeon last night. Though it is something that seems to have grown in popularity of late, it is truthfully not one I’ve really paid a lot of attention to. You know that BDSM test everyone takes at some point? I might have scored above