We live in a society that prides itself on the foundational principles of liberty and justice for all, with the idea that we were all created equal. But those of us who challenge societal norms are left out in the cold, robbed of human dignities. I believe the essence of true citizenship lies not merely in legal recognition but in the unwavering acknowledgment of every person's right to live authentically, free from discrimination. Am I not a citizen? Am I not entitled to the same rights as others?
You say the Lord calls me an abomination in His eyes. That my way of loving and living and being is unnatural and unacceptable. But I do not share your God of hate; He does not hold dominion over me. You are welcome to live by the words you believe, but you may not force me to live by them - not out of hatred, not in a bid to save my soul, and not as a matter of law. Thomas Jefferson famously emphasized the separation of church and state, asserting that religious doctrine should not influence legal rights. Just as you are entitled to your religious beliefs and teachings, I, too, am entitled to exist without the burden of your judgements. Like you, I am a citizen of this country and am entitled to all of the rights and privileges thereof.
You say you do not like how I dress, that it’s too flamboyant or not gender appropriate. It offends your sensibilities of what is “right” and “wrong.” You worry that I will confuse or even traumatize the children. You disapprove. Okay. Sit with that. Breathe it in. Tell your cousin’s brother’s child’s babymama all about this freak you saw at the A&P. Tell your child that you don’t choose to dress that way because of whatever-reason-you-might-have and that you hope they won’t either (but don’t be surprised if that doesn’t later turn out to be their dream outfit just because you didn’t like it). Then go into your closet, put on what is appropriate for your identity and style choice, and celebrate being you. And I will go into my closet, put on what is appropriate for mine, and celebrate being me. We each have the right to self-expression, including what we wear.
You say you don’t like me holding hands with or kissing my lover where you can see me do it. You say I’m flaunting my deviance, throwing it in your face, jamming it down your throat. Sweetie. Baby. Honey. It’s not about you. I am kissing my lover because I love them. I am holding their hand because I think they are hot, and I want to be connected with them. I am focused on them and our connection - be it love or desire or lust - and am leaning into it the same way you do with your partner(s). Like you, I get to decide who I want to spend my time with and how I want to spend it. If you don’t want to see me spend it with my tongue down their throat, feel free to turn around and walk away. That is your right. You don’t have the right to tell me how to express my affection.
You see, your desire to only see things you approve of is not an acceptable basis for depriving me of my right to self expression. Your desire to avoid conversations with your children about your values is not an acceptable basis for depriving me of my right to self-expression. Your desire to live in a predictable world where everyone lives and looks and thinks like you is not an acceptable basis for depriving me of my right to self-expression. Like you, I am a citizen of this country and am entitled to all the rights and privileges thereof.
You say there are only two sexes. And that my friend must accept the one they were assigned at birth. You say the Lord made them the way they are and that they are flouting His will if they choose to feel like they are living in the wrong body. As if it were a choice. You are lucky you haven’t questioned your gender identity. And I understand that you cannot imagine feeling any way other than settled into it. But my friend was in pain; they endured profound emotional and psychological turmoil. They never felt right in their body until they took the steps to change it. Their gender expression now matches the gender they know they are in their mind and in their soul. For the first time in their life, they feel an ease of being that you have always taken for granted. You do not have to understand it, but it is not your right to block them from fully embodying their true self.
You refuse to honor my friend as they are. You say my friend poses a threat to you and your child in shared spaces such as bathrooms. Do you realize they are much more in danger from you, your friends, your child, and their friends? They just want to relieve themselves, just like you, only they have the added danger of being recognized as “other,” of being admonished or reported or assaulted. They are in dire peril when they are most vulnerable. Are they not a citizen, as well? Shouldn't the fundamental right to safety and dignity extend to all of us, irrespective of our identity? Why does your discomfort trump their safety? It doesn’t. Like you, they are a citizen of this country and are entitled to all the rights and privileges thereof.
Our society is built on the premise of inalienable rights: freedom of religion, speech, assembly, and the pursuit of happiness. We do not have to like each other. We do not have to approve of each other. But we cannot trample on each other’s rights. I will protect your right to worship the God you choose, to wear the clothes you want, to love the person who captures your heart, to live as your authentic self. Please protect my right to the same. Ultimately, we are all citizens of this country, deserving of the same rights and privileges.