Dear Miss Velvet,
With covid still a concern, I am hesitant to go to live lifestyle events. What is the best way to stay connected to the community? I miss it so much!
Sincerely,
Disconnected by Covid
Dear Disconnected,
If you can find some small gatherings where you are comfortable wearing a mask and washing your hands, there is no substitute for seeing folks in person. Having said that, it is simply not an option for many. On an individual basis, make a point to reach out to at least 3 people every week to let them know you are thinking of them. This may or may not initiate a conversation, but you will engender good feelings for when you do venture back in person.
During covid, many local communities established a thriving online presence. While this has fallen off some as more people move on from isolation, it is still a viable option. To get involved, start by talking to your friends to see if they are in any group chats among your acquaintances, and then see if they are adding new members. Look on Fetlife for groups that have a discord or Facebook group, and ask to join. If you find there is nothing that sparks your interest, start a group of your own beginning with your friends, then ask them to invite others.
In addition to the local community, there are now many opportunities to get to know people from around the country. Look for online events on Fetlife, whether they be classes or gatherings. There are some groups, like PK Presents, that have ongoing offerings with many repeat attendees, which would give you the chance to get to know some people slowly over time. In addition, check out the groups for some of the conferences around the country. They often have Facebook groups and Discord channels, which offer more opportunities for interacting.
Whatever avenue you choose, you will soon become a known and valued member when you contribute insightful and/or amusing observations. Until you get to know some people better and understand the unspoken rules of the groups, I would avoid any topics that could be seen as controversial and inflammatory (I personally would always avoid those, but you might have more appetite for controversial discourse).
All of this will establish a foundation for when you are ready to enter the community again in real life. You will find it exciting to meet the people with whom you have established a virtual friendship, and they will look forward to seeing you in person, as well.
~Miss Velvet Steele